About Me

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Naples, Florida
I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

It Must Take More Muscles to Smile Than it Used to

OK, as a rule, I try and leave police beat alone, it's just too easy.  However, it is a reliable source to go to when I haven't posted something for our amusement in a while.  I'm not sure where to start here.  My first thought is the photo was distorted, but it seems to be clear.  Then I read what he was charged with, and I still have Mountain Dew dripping out of my nose.  He was trying to hook up with some poor child via the internet, but it was a sting operation.  First of all, what, not who, would have sexual relations with this gent?  I mean, really, if anything says lock up the sheep, it's this fella's mug shot. It wouldn't matter what day it was, if I opened my front door to this guy, I'm betting the house the first thing out of his mouth is "trick or treat!"  If the "Leaning Tower of Pisa" was a Halloween mask, this guy is wearing it, am I right?  And finally, this guy can work a computer?  Really? 

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