About Me

My photo
Naples, Florida
I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Going to the chapel...


(In my column this week, I wrote about renewing our vows for our 25th wedding anniversary in Las Vegas.)  I wore the green shirt in honor of the green that gave its life so that the wife's finger could only go so far up her nose.  This picture was taken right before the wife was knocked unconscious by my triple x melon.  Not my fault, as the photographer said to put our heads together.  I said, "That might not be a good idea."  Fortunately, the limo driver had some smelling salts, as people have been known to pass out at The Little White Wedding Chapel.  From nerves, I'm sure, and not the swimming pool of booze that preceded their arrival.