I just read today that "Hostess," the company that makes "Twinkies," is near bankruptcy. Fighting off immediate and crushing depression, I promptly blew through a box and a half of comfort food, which just so happened to be "Twinkies." All I ever read about is how fat America has become, but clearly, we are not fat enough if "Twinkies" are in danger. You'd think they have some type of protection in the constitution, but I can't find anything. The foundation of the country is at stake here, folks. What good is the right to bear arms if you can't wolf down a couple of Twinkies during a break in the action? And you can forget the pursuit of happiness. If there ain't no "Twinkies," there ain't no use pursuing happiness 'cause you ain't gonna find it. Get off the treadmill, people, and pursue your skinny asses on down to 7-11 before it's too late!
About Me
- Life is Heald
- Naples, Florida
- I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.
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