I bought a new gas grill the other day. They wanted $40 to assemble it. I asked the salesman how long it took to assemble it and he said "about an hour." Hmmmm, I thought, $40 an hour, I think I'll take that job. By the time I finished, I had earned $1.72 an hour for the whole job. I thought about filing a complaint against myself since I hadn't paid myself minimium wage, but I got sidetracked by a trip to the emergency room which was necessary when, while assembling the grill, I mixed up my own Bloody Mary that was three parts A-positive and one part Phillips-head screwdriver. It was like "Tool Time" meets "Psycho." That night, I couldn't decide whether to cook hamburgers or just turn the gas on high and close the lid on my head.
About Me
- Life is Heald
- Naples, Florida
- I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.
I once restored a really beat-up old gas grill my neighbor had pushed to the curb. Out-of-pocket, it was cheaper than buying the same model new. But the time expenditure.... call it tool-time therapy. I guess I needed that. And my mother-in-law got a great Valentines gift that year. She even bought a cover for it.
ReplyDelete