About Me

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Naples, Florida
I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

What Happens When Woodpeckers Can't Sleep?


     This is the problem with the crystal meth labs being out in the woods.  The wildlife was there first and they're going to want to know what's going on.  Pretty soon, they get to nosing around and getting into things they shouldn't and before you know it, we have woodpeckers gone wild.  I offer this photographic exhibit as evidence of which I speak.  The woodpeckers in this part of the country were perfectly content to be "one-holers" as the locals call them, and then drugs came to town.  Now, they have woodpecker condominiums going up everywhere, no doubt financed by drug money, and the speculators are all over the place.                                    
(I took this picture hiking through
Stepen Foster State Park in White
Springs, Florida (12/30/10) on our
annual holiday camping trip, just
in case anybody thought I made
that up in "Life is Heald/Trading
Sony and Nintendo for Lewis
and Clark".  (1/5/11)) 

1 comment:

  1. Chucklechuckle;We live in NC and the redcockheaded wood peckers love our pines! Funny you should add that pic cuz our royal birds don't just make holes, they fell complete branches! I'll send you a pic soon-hahaha

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