Why do old women bring their old husbands to the grocery store? They might as well drag a three-foot log behind their shopping cart that says "PLEASE DON'T TRIP OVER ME." The old dudes are like floating traffic islands in the middle of the aisle. Imagine, if in the movie "Night of the Living Dead," the zombies won and there were no more humans left for them to eat. Eventually, the zombies would wind up at the grocery store. Guess what? The zombies won. I saw one geriatric gentleman standing there squeezing his fruit, which wouldn't have been that bad except he was nowhere near the produce section...or fruit.
About Me
- Life is Heald
- Naples, Florida
- I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.
Aaah..Naples in season @ Publix-HAHA! Loved your Lewis & Clark tale also! Thanks!
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