About Me

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Naples, Florida
I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The People Have Spoken

     They were on me over at the paper to shorten up my column, but I was resistant to cave into the Man.  Only when a friend, later confirmed by another friend (yes, I have two now), both told me the same thing, did I reconsider.  Both these gentlemen read my column in their private "library" in order to concentrate and enjoy the reading.  Only when both confided that the length of my column was keeping them in there after business hours, did I feel compelled to act.  I make no promises, and the high school English teacher who once dubbed me "Captain Word Salad" may no longer have grounds for such a label, but I shall henceforth try my darndest to limit the literature, for it benefits no man to occupy the porcelain in a state of inactivity.  Plus, it starts to smell.

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