About Me

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Naples, Florida
I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Think Before You Act

      I had a nice column written last week about this guy who stole the Toys for Tots cash donation box off the counter at a local restaurant and ran out.  I mean this was cake, the column wrote itself about what a ground breaking scumbag this guy was.  He hurt a lot of people.  Then, the day before my deadline, the maggot goes and takes the money back, throws a donation in on top of what he took and says he'll stay if they want to call the cops.  Make up your mind, son, I've got a column to write.  The Toys for Tots people came out of this just fine, but me?  The column went right in the trash.  I just wish people would think before they act.  He hurt a lot of people.  OK, just me, but it hurt really bad.  If he'd like to come over to the house and make a donation, in the spirit of Christmas, I'll even take a check.

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