About Me

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Naples, Florida
I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Do it and die

The carpet cleaners just left.  I just know the dog is scouting for a spot to drench as soon as I turn my back.  I can't have this.  I went and got a stuffed dog from the kids' room and my cordless drill.  I took the dog back to the previous site of her self-dedicated indoor plumbing and drilled a hole in the stuffed dog's head.  She looks like she got the message, but she might be playing me.  Hard to say at this point.

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