So I write a column about McDonald's screwing up my fish sandwich order. I didn't expect it to catch the eye of the folks down at the Pulitzer, but it had a few chuckles sprinkled in with the adverbs and nouns. In it, I mentioned that I had planned to write that week about the "Barbie" doll and the people who are bent out of shape about her shape being totally unrealistic, but then the McDonald's thing happened and I succumbed to my venting outlet, Life is Heald. I check the e-mail account and one "Misti Burns" writes me that not only was it the worst column she's ever read, but that she would've rather read about me "molesting Barbie." Classy girl, this Misti Burns. I never asked her if that was her real name or just what she says when the gynecologist asks the reason for her visit today.
About Me
- Life is Heald
- Naples, Florida
- I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.
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