Many times in my life, many more than I can remember, I have been called either a "dumbass" or a "smartass." I don't recall a single instance in which the specific salutation was issued fondly or as a term of endearment. I make no argument that any of the labels were misapplied at the time, but I would like to point out that logic, or at the very least, semantics, would seem to dictate that one of these be complimentary in nature. If you disdainfully call me a "dumbass," aren't you hoping I'd be a "smartass"? And if my being a "smartass" offends you so, shouldn't my being a "dumbass" come as some type of relief to you? My ass is confused. Should it drop out or apply to grad school? If you are perhaps feeling guilty because you have previously classified my ass as either "dumb" or "smart," rest easy, for my ass assures me that all if forgiven with a simple kiss.
About Me
- Life is Heald
- Naples, Florida
- I like to laugh. If you don't, please hit whatever button escorts you from the premises immediately. I write a humor column for the Naples Daily News called, get this, "Life is Heald." It's about life as we all see it, just from a pair of rose-colored glasses that need cleaning. I tell stories, I rant about things that drive us all to the point of filling out a gun permit, I make fun of you and I make fun of me. If I can't use it in the column for whatever reason, it ends up here. Sometimes, you'll need to read the column to know what I'm writing about, but often the posts are just random, drive-by thoughts that entered my brain and exited my fingers. Just a flesh wound, so don't go dialing 911 about anything you read here. This is not one of those blogs that will tell you how many prunes it took to jump start my last bowel movement or what grade the kid got on his math test. The good stuff, I save for the Christmas newsletter.
I would leave a comment, but I'm afraid I'll sound like a smart ass... 8>
ReplyDeleteSorry you were sick but reading about it had me falling out of my chair laughing-again! Thanks! The power washing got me plus the editor's comments made it so real. Keep it up- I shared you on FB!
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